Déjà vu
by Fuzzzz
Summary: Clary leaves the Institute. Tessa leaves the Institute. The story occurs after The City of Bones and Clockwork Angel. Will they ever come back to New York? And if they do, will anything be the same? Just how much have they missed since they've been gone? Spoiler: A lot. Rated T for occasional language.
1. Prologue

**Hi everyone! This is my first Fanfic so please bear with me. This takes place right after The City of Bones, but it does include characters from The Infernal Devices. There are characters and some scenes that will be similar to the books, so as a disclaimer, there will be some spoilers. Also, Clary uses an Alias in the story so her fake name will be put in quotation marks. And last, but not least, I do not own The Mortal Instruments, The Infernal Devices, or their plot and characters.**

Prologue

3 Years Earlier:

"Jace you should really go in and see her. I think the sound of your voice will wake her up." Clary said, trying not to sound bitter. Sighing at Jace's lack of response (he hadn't been saying much after he found out that they were siblings) Clary headed back to the Institute.

Clary's life had been pretty horrible these past few weeks: she found out that her mother had been hiding things from her, that her father was the most evil Shadowhunter of all time, and the guy that she liked, was her brother. Not to mention that her best friend is still in love with her, but she isn't in love with him or that her mother, Jocelyn, had recently been found in Valentine's stronghold, and that she was in a coma.

Nothing the doctors tried would wake her mom up and Clary was beginning to give up hope. They tried everything from strange potions to mundane medicine, but nothing seemed to work. Clary thought that if she could talk to her mother and tell her she was okay (even though she hated Jocelyn for not telling her that she was a Shadowhunter) that that would make her get better, but not even that helped. So Clary thought that maybe if Jonathan (or Jace for short) talked to their mother, she might wake up. Besides, her mother had always loved him more. She would constantly hold the box with Jace's hair in it when she thought Clary wasn't looking. But she did. She saw the pain in her eyes on the anniversary of his death. Her mother didn't even look the same on the anniversary of her father's death. _Don't be bitter. It's not their fault… just yours._ Clary thought. _Besides, it can't possibly get any worse. Your mother is practically dead, your best friend hates you and soon your new friends will too and your possible love interest is your FREAKING BROTHER. But that does sort out the whole love-triangle thing, though._ She thought with a rueful smile.

Since it was pretty late at night when Clary got back to the Institute, she went straight to bed, but she couldn't sleep. Clary's mind was still filled with the images of her mother, of all the injured werewolves fighting to buy her time and of Valentine jumping through the portal with the Mortal Cup. She also thought of Luke and his first and second-in-command and how they willingly sacrificed themselves for her… and how bloody they were when they died…blood...blood everywhere... She shivered at that memory.

She felt so guilty. So, so guilty. If she hadn't given Hodge the Cup none of this would have happened. She could have just gone on with her life. Sure, they would have eventually found her mother, and that Jace and her were siblings, but at least at that rate, it would be her mother's fault for not telling Clary about all of this and not hers, but that wasn't the case. Instead it was all Clary's fault. All her fault. Now Valentine had the Cup and he was going to raise a child army and kill hundreds of thousands of Downworlders and Shadowhunters who stand in his way.

...

1:30 AM

Clary couldn't take it anymore. She kept tossing and turning but she still couldn't fall asleep. The horrible thoughts that it was all her fault kept plaguing her, minute after minute. Hour after hour.

She had to get out of the Institute.

Out of the whole Shadowhunter world.

There were too many bad memories attached to the Institute. To her new friends. To _Jace_. It was in that moment that she decided what she had to do. She couldn't stay there any longer; she would just keep thinking back to that day when Jace saved her from dying of demon poison. That day they celebrated her birthday together in the greenhouse. That day they found the Mortal Cup. That day when Valentine took it and with him, all Clary's hopes and dreams. She couldn't face her friends or even Jace, for that matter, let alone the Clave and tell them that she had found, and then lost, the Mortal Cup. She figured that the only logical punishment the Clave could give her was Exile. So she figured, she'd save them some time and exile herself.

Not only did she want to run away from the bad memories, she wanted to hurt her mother after she woke up from her coma. Hurt her the same way the she hurt Clary: not telling her the whole truth and then disappearing without a trace. After deciding that running away would hurt her more than commiting suicide, Clary got up, got dressed and grabbed cash from her purse and nothing else. She didn't want to make it look like she actually ran away; more like she was missing. Vanished into thin air. She then opened up her window and climbed out onto the fire escape. Walking as softly as possible, she made her way to the ground. Once she reached the bottom, she broke into a run. She ran all the way to her old apartment and up the stairs to Madame Dorothea's old apartment. The door was open since there were maintenance men working on it (after the destruction that she and _Jace_ had caused) so Clary slipped inside. Checking to make sure no one was in there (there obviously weren't since it was 2 am, but one can never be too sure.) she made her way to the portal Madame Dorthea protected. She opened the portal and jumped in with her destination being _somewhere far away from here_.

...

 **Rate and review please!**


	2. Chapter 1

**1/2/16**

 **Hello and happy New Year! So thank you to everyone who has started to follow, favorite and review my story so far. I really hope you all are enjoying it. I know my stories are a little short, so I'll try to make them a little longer, but this will require more time so please be patient with me. Now, without further ado, and with the same disclaimer that always applies*, please enjoy.**

 **(*I do not own The Mortal Instruments, The Infernal Devices or their plot or characters.)**

 **...**

 _...she made her way to the portal Madame Dorthea protected. She opened the portal and jumped in with her destination being somewhere far away from here._

 **...**

Chapter 1

"My name is Sasha Foxheart. I am 18 years old. I am from LA. I moved to London to study art. My name is Sasha Foxheart. I am 18 years old…" She repeated over and over again until Clary almost convinced herself that her name wasn't, and never was, Clarissa Fray.

It had almost been 3 years since she jumped into Madame Dorothea's portal and left New York. The place she ended up was London which wasn't actually a bad place. Calry enrolled in an art school there, got a job at a nearby coffee shop and got a college dorm with the most amazing friend ever: Tessa Grey. Tessa and "Sasha" are really close. She's also really close with Tessa's friends Madeleine and Caterina and has an amazing boyfriend named Jordan who's really sweet. When Clary ended up in London she had to change her name so every morning when she would wake up from a nightmare (she has one almost every night about losing the Mortal Cup) she has to remind herself that she's not Clary Fray anymore. She's someone who's more fun, exciting, caring and all around better person than Clary Fray could ever dream of being.

"Clary Fray was short, pathetic and defenseless. Sasha Foxheart, on the other hand, is funny, nice and pretty. She has a great boyfriend, great friends and a great life. What more could I want? Ha. What am I kidding." Clary said as she made her tea. She stopped drinking coffee since it reminded her too much of all the times she and Simon hung out. Also, tea was what Tessa drank and Tessa was cool, unlike Clary. "What kind of name is Clary or Clarissa anyways?" Clary said to herself.

"Sasha?" Tessa called as she poked her head into the kitchen. "Are you alright?"

"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine" Clary replied. _Did I say that aloud? I knew it, I am insane. Not only do I have horrifyingly real dreams, but I talk to myself. I hope she didn't hear. Tessa takes things like lying a bit too seriously for my liking… I hope I'm not saying THIS aloud._ Clary thought.

"Okay. Oh! I almost forgot. Caterina, Madeleine and I are going to order Chinese food tonight to celebrate our passing our finals and we were wondering if you were going to be home to join us or if you had other plans." Tessa asked.

"No, that sounds great. Finals have been a bitch." Clary replied.

"Now, now Sasha. I won't tolerate that kind of language under my roof." Tessa said, smiling, knowing that no matter what she said, she wouldn't be able to stop Sasha Foxheart from doing anything. Sasha Foxheart was an unstoppable force that did as she pleased.

 **…**

6:30 pm

"Oh! Have you heard? Rebecca's brother is in town visiting." said Caterina.

"No, I didn't. Clary, do you know Rebecca? She was Madeline's roommate last year. After she graduated she moved to Paris." Tessa said.

"No. I don't think I've met her. Though, maybe. I vaguely remember a Rebecca… maybe from my old school in New York?" Clary mused.

"Maybe. She did say that's where she's from." Tessa replied.

"Oh! Wouldn't that be so fun if they went to the same school or were neighbours or long lost best friends! That would be so cool!" Madeleine said.

"Hahahaha. Unlikely, though. I lived in New York for a while, but I never even heard of a Sasha Foxheart, and that's an uncommon name that you would just _have_ to remember." said Caterina.

"Oh well. You never know. We should go visit her though. We haven't seen her in forever!" said Madeleine.

"Right now? Are you sure? Don't you think she'll want to spend time with her brother?" Tessa asked concerned.

"Well, he's there with a few friends and she _did_ invite us to a welcome back party, so I would probably take that as a yes." said Caterina sarcastically.

"You didn't tell me! Well, of course then! We'll just have to go!" exclaimed Tessa excitedly.

"Awesome! Okay. I'll set everything up. The party's next Saturday, just so you guys know." said Caterina.

 **...**

 **So I know this was a little bit short. Okay, maybe more than a little bit short; next time I will shoot for 1,300 words. At some point I'll probably end up re-writing this, but definitely not until I finish the story. Maybe 20 chapters? That sounds doable. I don't know. I will take suggestions and theories on what will happen next, though. I'd love to hear what you think of the story so far! Thank you for dealing with me and all of my insanity. Please rate and review!**


	3. Chapter 2

**6/23/16**

 **I'm really really really sorry that I haven't posted anything for seven months, (please don't hate me) but here's the new chapter. In case you forgot what was happening because I've been gone so long, Clary and Tessa are roommates who both are running from the demons from their past and now they're on their way to Tessa's friend, Rebecca's, birthday party. It's going to get really confusing with Clary's alias, so I'm going to apologize in advance.**

Chapter 2

Tessa

"Tick, tick, tick…" went Tessa's angel necklace. She had received it from her mother before she died. That was the only thing keeping her going: her parents' death. She just _had_ to know who killed them. She had some suspicions, but one could never be quite so sure. She knew that they didn't die of natural causes. They were both so young and to have both of them decease at the same time, was a little more than concerning. If that wasn't strange enough, her brother didn't show up to the funeral. It was almost like he didn't care about his own parents; it was almost as cruel as if he had killed them himself.

She thought back on her parents. She didn't look much like them, but neither did her brother. He looked more like her aunt. Tessa looked a bit like her mother, in a way, but not like her brother looked like her aunt. Same eyes, same smile. It would be almost creepy if Tessa hadn't known that her mother and her aunt were constantly mistaken for twins when they were little. They didn't look much like each other as they grew up, though, but they did stay very close just like her and her brother were. Emphasis on _were_.

Tessa then was reminded of what her necklace could do: it could kill automatons. She didn't want the thought to come to her but it did. And so did a whole onslaught of memories. Memories that she wished would stay hidden. She didn't want to think about Will or Jem. She didn't want to think about which she would ultimately have to choose and whose heart she would break. She didn't want to think that, in the end, she broke both of their hearts, but it was only fair. It was better that they both hurt and could commiserate together rather than hate each other.

"Stop it, Tessa. Stop it. They're not here. No one will find out. No one even knows you're Shadowhunter. And no one needs to know. Besides, if Will and Jem were both that heartbroken, they would have tried to find me. And judging by the fact that they haven't yet, I have no reason to go crawling back to them begging for their forgiveness to only break one of their hearts all over again. They probably didn't even like me in the first place. They probably just thought I was a demon and wanted to keep their friends close and their enemies closer," Tessa told herself aloud. "Besides, you're not even a Shadowhunter. They don't know what you are. And it's probably best that it stays that way. If they knew what I am, they probably wouldn't love me anymore; They'd probably run in the other direction. If I could run from myself, I would." Tessa said, bitterly. "I'm probably a horrible demon with nine heads, but no one wants to say anything because they'd feel mean doing so,"

"Tessa?" Sasha called as she poked her head into Tessa's room. "Are you alright?"

"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine" Tessa replied not wanting to let on that she was totally not fine, was trying to sulk in peace, and was kind of stressing out about getting ready for the party.. _Did I say that aloud? I knew it, I_ am _insane. Not only do I have horrifyingly real dreams, but I talk to myself... Even my roommate thinks I'm crazy._ Tessa thought.

"I hope you're ready because if we don't leave now, we're going to be late," Sasha sing-songed as she skipped out of Tessa's room.

"Oh shoot! I totally forgot!" Tessa replied. "I'll be right with you."

…

Clary's (aka Sasha's) P.o.V.

Since I've been gone and have never found anyone quite like Isabelle, I've had to learn how to do my own hair and makeup. Youtube is great. I swear, you can learn anything. So, right now I was marveling in the fact that I had mastered this really complicated bun that I had done for Tessa. She kind of reminded me of myself and I guess that's why we're such good friends. She also talks to herself, has awful nightmares that give her insomnia and can never seem to get her hair right. I smiled at the thought. Oh, what I would give to have everything be normal again. To have my mother and Simon back and maybe even a boyfriend. To have everything as uncomplicated and simple as it always was and was meant to be. I sighed. Oh well, this is my life now. I guess I should really start living it.

"Okay. Tessa, are you all set?" I asked as I watched her scramble out of the bathroom and race around the flat.

"Yes, I just need one more minute. I need to wrap the present still," she replied, a little frantically.

"Alright. I'll meet you in the car then," I replied.

…

I don't know Rebecca very well and I don't think I've met her before. Tessa talks about her all the time and I think she said they were roommates at some point when she and Tessa studied abroad in Italy. I'm kind of excited to meet her though, because Tessa said that she was also majoring in art. I've seen some of her water colors and they are amazing. I've always been more of a sketch kind of girl myself so her work is gorgeous. She did a painting of a sunset that hangs in Tessa's room and it looks so real.

"Okay. I think I've got everything," Tessa said, interrupting my thoughts. "I have the present, my purse, my keys, and I think that's it. Ready to go?" Tessa asked excitedly.

"Yeah," I replied. "Five hours of driving through California countrysides here we come."

"Oh, it won't be that bad. We can listen to my books on tape like A Tale of Two Cities, or Oliver Twist, or we can talk, or you could draw, or we could play the alphabet game..." Tessa suggested enthusiastically. "Sasha? Sasha? Are you awake?" Tessa sighed. "You always were quick to fall asleep on road trips," Tessa mused as she turned on one of her favorite audio books: A Tale of Two Cities. It was going to be a long car ride.

…


End file.
